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Startegic defense review

PostPosted: Wed Oct 20, 2010 12:34 pm
by LAK 12
Following the Strategic Defence review announcement that Joint Harrier Force was to be disbanded with immediate effect has caused some consternation in the Royal Navy as they will have 2 pedalo's but no aircraft to hang off them.

Fortunately Naval personnel serving at Wittering have informed the Sea Lords that the RAF still posses an aircraft capable of operating from a naval platform having witnessed the Four Counties Falke taking off without aerowtow at the weekend.

It was reasoned that if the Falke could manage to get airborne in 100M in Nil wind conditions with a typical 4C's tug pilot on board then it should be capable of VTOL performance with a less generously proportioned Naval lot on Board and two matalotts peddling like buggery into wind.

Furthermore it was noted that it has the capability to launch an Air to Surface Ka21 which was described as a fire and forget weapons system although its accuracy has been called into question due to its on-board BI guidance system. A spokesman said that consideration was been given to upgrading the inaccurate BI system to the phenomenally accurate but delicate SRE system which must be stored under alcohol in a high nicotine atmosphere. The Ka18/ Bronze C weapons platform was rejected due to the fact that it was more likely to loiter overhead it's own launch platform before ditching or impacting the launch platform.

Also rejected was The Diamona system which despite its higher Mach number than Falke and its ability to follow the curvature of the earth at low level. The reason for rejection was that although capable of recovery onto the launch platform the lack of a steam catapult meant launching could only be achieved if the pedalo could achieve 0.45 Mach. Whilst this is theoretical y possible if fuelled with a 75/25% mix of Red Bull/ Exlax this propellent is extreamly unstable and produces an unacceptable IR signature.

A Military spokesperson said " Gi' us a Job"

A Spokesperson For The RAF GSA said " bollox"